ramblings of a mad professor

a little over a year ago, I brought a dog into a cat house.  boy, that didn’t sound right.  For years, I’ve had cats.  they are easy.  you leave for a couple days, and the cats can survive on what you leave out for them.  they use a litter box indoors.  they don’t need exercise.  and for the most part, they don’t chew stuff up.  so, the dog enters this world as a puppy.  the dog gets treated much like the cats.  so, he pretty much thinks he’s a cat.  which isn’t a bad thing except for when he gets into my lap.  he’s a German Shepherd.  a little big for the lap. 

In September of last year, I had to put my oldest beloved cat to sleep.  oh, I didn’t do it.  the vet did it. but it was as though I put a dagger into his heart, thus putting it in mine.  My heart still aches.  some people say, ‘it’s just a cat.’  but that cat had seen me through so much.  he never turned his back on me.  he never hurt me.  sigh. 

Today, I’ve added another cat so I’m back to 2 cats and 1 dog.  The new cat is about 10-11 months old.  Crazy.  He and the dog play together, sleep together at night, tease each other.  it’s been an amazing journey to watch.  people are always amazed when they see the 2 in action.  🙂

I am alone except for the animals.  they are here when I get home from work; they are here when I am sad or happy.  they are my family.  and soon, I’ll put photos up of the monsters.  🙂 

sometimes I am sad.  few people ever see my sadness.  I don’t shed tears easily or often.  I rarely cry.  but even I can hurt.  and I hurt today.  knife meet heart. 

I wish I could find myself.  I was proposed to today over the phone by an elderly gentleman who is madly in love with me.  He offered to take care of me financially, build a beach house for weekends and vacations, and be my scholarly equal.  tempted.  I adore this man.  so tired of struggling.  but I adore him like I adored my grandpa. 

I am exhausted. I have so much to do.  why can’t I focus?  the world seems to be spinning out of control, and I get so caught up in that spinning that I can’t focus.  stuff gets in the way.  am I the only one?

the frustration is never ending. 

reaching for something, having to go back inside to find it.

gulf oil spill
you know the deal
birds die and fish
make a wish
black gobs
lost jobs
in the sea
thanks, BP

storming….Hinske is outside.  he loves the rain.  now he’s in here and he’s soaking wet.  🙂 

just another day teaching.  Home and the dog is happy to see me.  of course, I feed him so that’s probably the reason.  🙂 
I love butterscotch.
I really miss my dad.
I’m amazed every day that the sun comes up.
I totally lack the energy to do what needs to be done.
I am watching American Idol.
I believe in peace.
my cat is lazy.
I’m addicted to Craigslist.  you thought I was gonna say fb?
I would like to be a spy.
I think I could make a good profiler.
I wish I could read people’s minds.
Burn Notice is back !  this week.
I think I want to live in Tampa.
I like pizza.
I love tacos.
I really love chocolate.
I wish I had a swimming pool.
I can’t wait for college baseball to start.
smile.